Shelly's Spiels

 No going home for me today.  Apparently the painkillers I've been taking stop up the internal plumbing so now I'm on less painkillers and more laxatives.  FUN!  But I kind of insisted that I needed to at least get unclogged before I went home, so I'm going home tomorrow now.  In the meantime, I had my first "success" so yay for that haha. Not an amazing update but not a lot of amazing things are happening.

After a week that started with a trip to the ER for what turned out to be a kidney infection, a course of a mega antibiotic via IV and a couple of days at home realizing that they didn't solve my problem since I still felt like shit and was in excruciating pain, I came back on Friday afternoon on a day where they were so busy I pretty much was housed in a hallway of the ER that had turned into makeshift bed bays.  Separating me by a curtain was a guy who had a huge growth on his ass, so I got to to experience the auditory and olfactory marvel that was "draining the abscess."  After about five hours of staring at the ceiling (admittedly, mostly under the amazing care of Dilaudid) I was told I was going to be admitted to a hospital room around 9pm.  After all of the endless questions, various rules, and path to care for the evening, I settled in on what was one of the most uncomfortable beds I've ever been in.  And the Dilaudid well had run dry once I was up here - Oxy...

I realized I hadn't posted in ages and sent a friend an email with an update on what's going on with me so I'm going to be lazy and just paste most of what I sent her!  Text follows: Speaking of exercise, I’m with you on that too.   Part of the problem is that Chris has been dragging his feet on getting my home office back on its feet after he trashed it by using it as a crap depository while I was in the hospital and rehab last year, so I’ve pretty much been living in this recliner in my living room since I have a laptop stand to do my work (and write this email!)   He HAS to get it back up and running before Tuesday though because now that he finally has a job (he has a job! More about that in a bit!) I’m allowing us to go back to having a cleaning person come once a month so I need to be back there so they can clean the rest of the rooms.   It’s probably going to sound weird, but I feel like I’m going to get more exercise naturally by being in the back of the ho...

 ...the pantry is done!  Well, sort of.  All of the shelves and drawers are cleaned out, which is the worst of it.  I ended up donating about three huge bags of kitchen stuff to Goodwill and another three bags of stuff to my brother, which was great.  And I still have a lot of stuff, but at least now I know what I have.  I seriously almost bought a set of bakeware and I found I have a ton of it that I even ended up donating.  Oy vey. Out with the old, and in with the new... Beekman 1802.  Holy shit, I bought hundreds of dollars of products this weekend because there were screaming sales.  Now I'll have the most beautiful skin and smell super good for... no one haha.  Maybe I'll make more of an effort on Zoom calls or whatever.  So there is going to be an avalanche of boxes coming this week.  Oh yeah, and I bought some Harry Slatkin candle stuff with body and hand wash... why?  Who cares, I like it. We've also slowly but su...

 ...and things have just been nuts - sorta.  Work has been crazy for weeks and finally just slowed down a little bit this week, but now that the boss is back this week that will change haha.  The good news is that she'll be gone again for two weeks after that so I can breathe a little bit.   I'll just get the elephant in the room out of the way - I haven't been exercising.  Straight up.  I keep having thoughts about it and then I just don't do it.  I don't know how to get accountable for myself; it's something I need to figure out.  Also stagnant is the state of this house.  Chris's dad has been in the hospital for a couple of weeks with various maladies, and I was trying to give him a pass in the beginning, but he's been going to visit him like, every several of days so that's not a thing anymore.  He's still without a job, I'm still paying for everything, and I am so fucking stressed out about it I can barely breathe.  I have...

I recently received an email from my former roommate at the rehab center telling me about some problems she's been having to deal with and feeling guilty about not working on her goals and thus being a bad accountability partner.  I haven't answered her yet, but when I do, I'm not only going to have to 'fess up to my own stagnation, but also tell her to embrace what she perceives as her shortcomings and use them to motivate her to take steps forward.  I have to remember that advice as well. I have no concrete reasons for not following through with what I've laid out to do, but I can't deny that I'm feeling really down lately.  There has been zero progress by Chris around the house, other than putting all of my Philosophy products on a bathroom rack, thus I'm still looking around at a mess.  He hasn't touched my office, so I still have just this spot in the house; even if I were compelled to work at the dining room table I couldn't because it'...