It's been a minute...

 ...and things have just been nuts - sorta.  Work has been crazy for weeks and finally just slowed down a little bit this week, but now that the boss is back this week that will change haha.  The good news is that she'll be gone again for two weeks after that so I can breathe a little bit.  

I'll just get the elephant in the room out of the way - I haven't been exercising.  Straight up.  I keep having thoughts about it and then I just don't do it.  I don't know how to get accountable for myself; it's something I need to figure out. 

Also stagnant is the state of this house.  Chris's dad has been in the hospital for a couple of weeks with various maladies, and I was trying to give him a pass in the beginning, but he's been going to visit him like, every several of days so that's not a thing anymore.  He's still without a job, I'm still paying for everything, and I am so fucking stressed out about it I can barely breathe.  I have several more months of paying $1K+ for my prescriptions, and I am paying at least $2K/month in his expenses alone, so with my expenses thrown in, I don't have a whole lot left.  I haven't saved for retirement since he was laid off 14 months ago, I haven't saved for that long, (instead taking money OUT of savings) and I just can't take it.  And all I get is, "I know... I know."  He knows.  He knows.  Fuck.

I did get some medical housekeeping done late last month.  I saw Dr. Bal, who was one of the nephrologists I saw in the hospital in October and he thinks that my kidney stone issue is a severe lack of citrates in my body so I'm on supplements.  I can't believe after all of this time, pain and expense that this could be my solution but let's hope.  I also saw the optometrist who gave me a new prescription and I got two new pairs of glasses, so now I can see as well as is possible and maybe now I can go to the DMV and renew my license.  I haven't driven in like 6 years, shit.

School started a couple weeks ago and it's great but a lot of work.  But I'm really enjoying what I'm studying.  I asked my advisor for info on a Political Science degree (why not have four degrees...?) since that's the closest thing I can get to studying history again.  I wish UWM offered an online History Masters degree.  So we'll see what's available next month when the new schedule comes out.

I also haven't been reading or watching movies like I want to, and now I have a whole bunch of Oscar-nominated films to watch in less than a month.  Oy vey.  I also have a stack of library books next to me, and the most popular one that I can't renew is a second in a series so I'm trying to read the first one on my PaperWhite first.  I seriously need like, 2 weeks to myself where I don't have work, don't have to deal with having to figure out meals for Chris, etc. and maybe then I could feel like I can breathe.

In the meantime, I gotta figure out this damn exercise thing.  I feel like if I can just get myself into a routine for everything then I will succeed but it's so hard to start.  

xo

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